Mommy: Riley I'm so upset I pumped 3oz of milk and then I didn't close the bag right and it spilled on the counter and I lost an ounce so now I only have 2oz of milk.
Riley: Does that mean you have to squeeze more?
Mommy: Haha Yes!
Riley: Siri I have a new baby brother!
Siri: I bet you say that to all your apple products.
Riley: What's apple problems?
Mommy: Make sure you sit on the floor with your cup....I mean juice box.
Riley: You said cup, it's a juice box....CRAZZZYY MAMA
{Clipping baby's nails}
Mommy: That's my worst nightmare {cutting their little fingers}
Riley: But it's not a nightmare this is real life.
Riley: Mommy in minutemen did they have TV's and electronics?
Mommy: No
Riley: Then what were they fighting for?
Mommy: What is that?
Riley: Stickers from the store.
{pulls out blank price tag stickers out of pocket}
Mommy: You took that many? What are you a trash collector?
Riley: Just curious.