Model and Talent expo June 2017

It's already been a month since I had my trip to Dallas for the Model and Talent Expo. What a whirlwind it was. I had spent months and months preparing for it. I even almost wanted to back out entirely. It was so overwhelming and scary to think of auditioning multiple times in front of tons of people for a week straight. The way that I function best is by obsessing, preparing going over everything a million times over. Which is what I did. I planned every single outfit for every audition. I practiced my monologue, and my two-person scene in the bathroom, in the shower, randomly at my kids. (Who got sick of it by the way.) Yet, I still found myself overwhelmed by fear. As much as I was prepared and thought I was confident and secure. No matter how many times I told myself that it's no big deal, just do your best and that's it. There is still this build up of pressure in my mind. "This is your one and only chance so don't mess it up!"
Those things circled around in my head throughout the entire trip.

Arrived there in the late afternoon. I saw a huge line of really tall, really pretty people signing in. Got intimidated right away! Luckily the first of the auditions didn't start until the day after.

Day 1: The festivities didn't start until in the late afternoon. We had to meet our  "Mother agent" to get all checked in and get all our information. We had the big overview up first. Where we get up on stage and say our name, and our mother agency. I was so nervous just doing that. I literally thought I was going to die. I don't know why I was freaking out so bad. I just didn't want to mess up my name or something or trip on the runway. I was number 1209 out of 500-600 people. I had a long time to freak out in my chair that's for sure. Once it was over I could breathe again but it did not make me hopeful for the rest of the week. Then it was on to the Meet and Greet. Which was basically a dance party and a chance to pay for a picture with Mike Beaty. It was a nice chance to get to know the people from my mother agency.

 

Day 2: First up was the singer/songwriter/dance audition. I had to stand in a big line to get in a small room with a group of four other people. I had to sing for 1 minute of my cover song, and an original song. I didn't have music for my original song so I sang it acapella. I knew that would be a gamble. But I didn't really have a choice. I can't play an instrument really and I had no one to help me put music to it without having to pay more money. There were four music producers sitting facing the wall. We sat down in the chairs behind them. They picked me to go first of course. I prayed over and over to not forget my words and only God got me through it. When I get nervous my mind goes blank. It was out of body I though for sure I forgot them but my mouth kept moving and the words kept coming. After I checked that off my list I ran across the hall back to ballroom to the seminars they had going on what we need to know in the business. Then had to rush back to my room to change for monologue audition outfit. They split up the numbers so I was in the second group. Again, more waiting after the hundreds of people went before me. As the rows in front of me started emptying I just prayed and prayed over again to not forget my monologue. Then my ears perked when I realized someone before me started saying my lines along with me. Yep, you guessed it someone else was doing the same monologue as me. I thought I would be the only one! I didn't even want to do this monologue it's kind of embarassing. I was told that it was the best one and it would make me stand out. Well I went up there and did it. I was so glad it was over with and I could brain dump it out of my head. I was done for the day but by that time it was getting to be late and I told my group I would stay and watch their troupe rehearsal.

Day 3: I got the call back for the singing audition. That meant I got to sing 2 minutes of my song in the ballroom for the rest of the scouts. I thought I would be less scared since I was up there before. I was good until I got backstage. I was really enjoying everyone else's  audition that I realized oh no what's the first line of the song! I got myself together and went out there and did it. It was so nice to be super loud with the microphone let me tell you! After that I ran back across the room and knocked out my 2-person scene audition. At that point I was so happy to be done with the other stuff that I just went in there and did it really fast. It was only a 30-second scene but I just wanted to take a breath. Then back to the ballroom for the business of music seminar. It was like the first day of school I sat in the front row taking notes and asking questions. Then I had enough time to eat and then get back to the room to change for the sportswear audition. Then I was finally able to relax at the showcase. They picked models from the overview to walk in the fashion show and picked dancers and singers for the talent portion. It was a good show!

Day 4: Last day of auditions. Last thing on the list was the cold read audition. Again I was a nervous wreck. Having to wait til my number was called. We get a little commercial to read on stage. Luckily we didn't have to memorize it but mine was a bit wordy. Then back upstairs to change for the runway audition. Which had to be an all black outfit. I had this mini dress picked out but I brought a ball gown last minute. My mom who came with to support me was able to hem it for me last minute and I wore that instead. I felt I had to step it up a bit and try to stand out. Then I got to change and start the crazy business of the one on ones and call backs. It was insane! We had 50 minutes in each room to talk to the different scouts, agencies etc. We stood in lines most of the time and didn't get to everyone. It was like a weird speed dating experience. It was so late by the time we had call backs afterward. I had a total of 6 callbacks. I was really surprised! Most of them were for music which was really exciting. I got a lot of great feedback and felt confident and excited to see what was coming next.

Day 5: Last day! All that was left was the awards ceremony. They went through all the scholarships, then all the divisions. Then they got to my division and I was so surprised to hear my number called out! I even said "That's me!" I got 1st place for that silly embarrassing monologue!! Hilarious right? Then my number got called again! This time 2nd place for adult singers. A picture of me singing even got put in the video. I was not expecting any of it. I never win anything!

Now it was time to go home. It was bittersweet. I had made some great friends throughout the week. It was like going to camp with all these people who love doing the same things as you. It was really exciting and I'm so excited for all the opportunities for all the friends I've made.

The Aftermath:
I have been talking to a couple different producers on potentially working together. One sounds really promising. I will update that soon since nothing is set in stone yet. In the mean time I'm going to be raising money again to put towards all of it. But thank you guys so much for following along in this journey. Supporting me, praying for me, thinking about me, rooting me on! I appreciate it so much! Love you all!